We’ve been getting lots of letters from fans asking us why we weren’t at that fair last weekend. Apparently we were missed, which makes me happy, because we missed you, too. In past years we’ve attended and rocked the faces of everyone there, from the leatheriest of leather daddys to the confused parents pushing strollers through and wondering where the hell they could get a churro. However, this year we were obviously absent.
The short answer is: conservativism.
The slightly longer answer is: chicken-shit, scaredy-pants control freaks.
But not the “usual suspects” kind of conservative. Not Pat Robertson or Jerry Falwell or George Bush or Tipper Gore. Nope. Gay conservatives. Isn’t that an odd term? Gay meaning “joyful”, and conservative from the Latin conservitas, meaning, “overwhelmingly boring bullshit”. Treasure Island Media is too risqué for a certain mindset, and amazingly, that mindset is a subset of the culture that invented sportfucking.
Have you seen straight porn? Not even watched, but simply glanced at the covers as you passed by en route to the T.I.M. films? Cumshitters. Sex with Young Girls. Anal Cum Addicts. Vivid Films (the closest porn comes to Hollywood) released a film with the byline “Love is Infectious”. Can you imagine if Treasure Island Media released that? We’d be fucking crucified. Outside of a handful of studios, gay porn is completely antiseptic. Porn you’d be comfortable watching while sitting next to your mother. We’re supposed to get excited every time My Pretty Pony releases another craptastic film starring elevator music and men learning how to respect each other. It’s retarded.
So we try to put out the sloppiest, most hardcore, smuttiest, wash-your-hands-when-you’re-done-masturbating por-fucking-nography, and we’re villainized for making jacking off fun again. We get asked to not attend what was supposed to be a celebration of our sexuality because, well, “think of the children!” It would be a shame if our impressionable homo brains were ever exposed to sex that wasn’t scrubbed completely free of passion and heat.
Bitter? Me? Nah. I’m just annoyed- I work in a dope fucking office with amazing fucking people, and the greater part of the open-minded people out there actively hate us because we don’t fit in their narrow view of what sex should be. Why is it that so many major studios think that their audience is deserving of condescension?
Which is enough of that.
On a lighter note, yesterday, when the office took a break from force-feeding crack to orphans, we watched a bit of Hitchcock’s North by Northwest. Ever since, we’ve all been walking around trying (and failing) to do an impersonation of James Mason. Specifically, James Mason talking dirty. Wouldn’t that have been wonderful? “Now lick my asshole, Lucious,” he’d say, with a hint of breathiness, amazement that he even had to say anything, and annoyance that Lucious wasn’t living up to his potential. He could communicate volumes of emotion by simply reading a list of locations. We were thinking of starting up a fan club, because I can’t find one anywhere. And then we could have a new tagline: “Treasure Island Media- bringing you gay porn and James Mason.”
You’ll notice a new link up on the right of the screen. It goes directly to the Paul Morris Podcast. Keep an ear out for the next episode. It’s going to be a few minutes of Treasure Island blooper reel.
One last thing- because last week’s contest went so well, lets do it again. Same rules- best post wins. This week’s prize is a copy of Pirate Tape 1. Get set, go!
xoxo
5 Comments:
My comment is posted on my blog. I am still amazed that the people who run the Folsom Street Fair feel like they have any moral high ground. Stunning.
Saul
That was an amazing fucking commentary on the Folsom situation this year. I had NO IDEA that happened. I didnt go to Folsom this year, but had a blast last year. And the TIM booth gave me a boner every time I passed it (especially knowing Dawson was getting bred while I was walking by with my Elephant Ears and Coke). Anyway, thanks for enlightening us with that commentary.
That really, REALLY sucks that Folsom was TIM-less this year. What are they thinking?! TIM is about just the kind of sexual freedom that these guys are promoting. Now I've never been to Folsom, but I would assume that the Barebackers there would FAR outnumber the Safer crowd.
It makes you wonder what's going to be next? A permit be required to carry a flogger or enforcement of the exposure laws?!
Isn't it rich?
Isn't it queer?
Losing your FSF booth at the height of your career,
Send in the clowns.
Just when you stopped closing porn's doors,
Finally showing us what we wanted was yours,
Making your entrance with a remarkable flair,
Sure of your style, the fans were soon there.
Oh what a farce, the committee's fault my dear,
Your absence from the fair,
Just too silly I fear.
Send in the clowns. They're ought to be clowns. Don't bother they're here.
Saul, it was The Tent that did it for them...of course, Dawson's infamous Tent, which later was immortalized in Folsom Underground, that great video we all love. So, there was documentation that even a 'friendly' gay 'conservative' would have to acknowledge. Okay, so that just makes it more sinful and fun for the rest of us.
Btw, we love James Mason. He's even better in 'Lolita.' He had the 2nd best laugh scene in cinematic history, after Tallulah's in Lifeboat.
Post a Comment
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home