American Idol Gone Wild

I suppose in the end it really is a numbers game but what is it exactly that elicits such compulsive behavior from American Idol ex-contestants and judges alike? (And we’re not talking about the faux drama and heartbreak from seeing our favorite Idol contestants whisked away by the whims of an American pop culture public.) First there were the rumors of Paula’s public drunkenness, and her illicit affair with Corey Clark. (Naturally, we’ll give her a pass on that one). Then there was the whole Mario Lord-knows-what-sort-of-parallel-universe-he’s-living-in Vasquez which could fill an entire blog. But now there’s this. AVN is reporting that Olivia Mojica, a season two contestant, has made an important contribution to the growing body of “celebrity” sex tapes. And if you’ve been following this fairly recent cultural-slash-sexual phenomenon, it’s all seems to follow a predictable pattern – not unlike the five stages of grief. First, naturally, there is the act. (Denial, if the sex sucks. "He just laid there!") This is followed by the discovery that the recording inexplicably has ended up in the hands of a “third party.” (Anger) Then, of course the big boys get in touch with you. (Bargaining) This, in turn, is followed by the realization that you will forever go down in history not by any important contributions you may make to society but whether or not you keep it clean downstairs. (Depression) And, lastly - if you’re shrewd – you turn your vagina into a cottage industry. (Acceptance)

(Note to Sanjaya: You’ve got a tough act to follow.)

--MOC BLOGGER